This is the time of year when the powerful and vibrant trans* community especially celebrates its resilience, unity, and visibility. Each year, the Trans* Pride celebration brings immense joy and empowerment to the community, which relishes in the opportunity to connect. Individuals of all genders, sexual orientations, and backgrounds unite to honor and embrace the diverse experiences and identities of the trans* community.

The True Meaning of Trans Pride Events

The Trans* Pride event stands as a testament to the strength and determination of trans* and gender diverse individuals who have persevered through countless challenges, discrimination, and inequality. Sure, it’s a joyous and colorful event, where gender identity is celebrated and rainbow flags are waved with pride, but the event goes beyond its visual significance. It serves as a platform where people’s  history, stories, struggles, and triumphs take center stage, inspiring others and forging paths of hope and possibility.

No matter how you may feel, change is possible!

We'll work side by side to uncover the challenges and patterns that keep you from living the life you desire.

Julia-logo

At this remarkable gathering, the air is filled with electric energy, as participants from all walks of life come together with a shared purpose – to honor and celebrate trans* identities. It is a celebration that goes beyond mere visibility; it is a call for recognition, acceptance, and love. Through music, art, workshops, and passionate conversations, the event weaves together a tapestry of understanding and solidarity, embracing Los Angeles’ trans and gender-expansive community.

In this inclusive space, unity prevails. Allies and advocates, both within and outside the transgender community, stand shoulder to shoulder, lending their support and amplifying the voices that have often been silenced. It is a gathering that acknowledges that the fight for trans* rights and equality is a collective effort, reminding us of the power of unity in the face of adversity.

Central to this celebration is the affirmation of visibility. The Trans* Pride event illuminates the beauty and strength of trans* people, enabling them to reclaim their narratives and assert their rightful place in society. It serves as a beacon of hope for those who have felt invisible or marginalized, inviting them to step forward and be seen, valued, and cherished for who they truly are.

outdoor pride event

Always an Honor to Be Part of Trans Pride Los Angeles

Experiencing the Trans* Pride event is to witness a vibrant kaleidoscope of colors, voices, and stories intertwining harmoniously. It is a transformative journey that challenges societal norms, dismantles prejudice, and nurtures a culture of acceptance and understanding. It is a reminder that diversity is not a threat, but a source of collective strength and resilience.

As a mental health therapist focused on the LGBTQI population, attending the Trans* Pride event in Los Angeles was a profound and impactful experience. I have attended Trans* pride in Los Angeles for over four years and the Trans* Pride festival in Long Beach for over two years. I had the privilege of participating both virtually on Friday and in person on Saturday.

I would love to share my reflections on the event, highlighting its significance and the reasons why Trans* Pride is a crucial event for the trans* community and society as a whole. Join me on this remarkable odyssey, as I delve into the heart of the Trans* Pride event, where celebration meets activism, and where resilience, unity, and visibility illuminate the path towards a more inclusive and equitable future for all.

Trans* Pride Los Angeles 2023 – The Events

Trans* Pride Los Angeles 2023 was an extraordinary celebration of the trans* community, filled with an array of captivating events that embraced diversity, empower individuals, and fostered a sense of belonging. It was a weekend of empowerment, celebration, and solidarity and an opportunity to come together, embrace diversity, and ignite positive change while commemorating the resilience and triumphs of the trans community.

talk about trans rights

Friday’s Trans* Town Hall: A Platform for Dialogue and Empowerment

The Trans Town Hall, held on Friday, set the stage for the entire Trans* Pride event. It created a space for dialogue, community engagement, and empowerment. With over 400 pieces of anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ+ legislation the urgency to have trans* pride now more than ever was palpable throughout the room. The event addressed these challenges head-on, featuring influential speakers such as Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr, Raquel Willis, Laith Ashley, and many more.

The town hall provided a platform for activists, health providers, and trans* and gender-diverse important figures to engage in critical conversations surrounding the transphobic rhetoric and discrimination that trans* folx face. It was an opportunity to educate, inform, and mobilize attendees to stand against these injustices.

Saturday’s Trans Pride Festival: Celebration, Education, and Empowerment

Saturday’s Trans Pride Festival brought together an array of activities, workshops, performances, and vendors. The event catered to various age groups, with a dedicated Children & Families Activity Area offering supervised activities and workshops. This inclusivity underscored the importance of fostering a sense of belonging and support for trans* individuals and their families.

Live performances, including a fashion show, music acts, and a magic show, infused the festival with energy and entertainment. Educational workshops covered a wide range of topics, from advocacy and creating safe spaces to resilience through art and exploring gender. These workshops not only imparted valuable knowledge but also empowered attendees with practical skills, fostering personal growth and resilience.

The presence of market and shopping vendors provided an opportunity to support local businesses and organizations while offering a range of products, including jewelry, cosmetics, and tarot readings. Free food from Nopal Taqueria and Slutty Sammys ensured that attendees were nourished and could enjoy the festivities without worrying about basic needs.

Community health, wellness, and resource partners played a vital role in providing essential services and information. From mental health support to healthcare resources, community resources, and legal services, these organizations contributed to the holistic well-being of trans* individuals.

Village Stage

The Importance of Trans* Pride: Visibility, Acceptance, and Advocacy

Trans* Pride holds immense importance for several reasons. Firstly, it is a powerful vehicle for increasing visibility and raising awareness about the challenges faced by the trans* and gender-diverse community. By celebrating trans* identities and experiences, Trans* Pride challenges societal norms, dispels stereotypes, and promotes acceptance and understanding.

Secondly, Trans* Pride empowers individuals to embrace themselves. It fosters a sense of community, support, and belonging, reducing feelings of isolation and promoting self-acceptance. For many trans* individuals, attending Trans* Pride is a transformative experience that validates their identity and affirms their worth.

Thirdly, Trans* Pride serves as a platform for advocacy and activism. By bringing together activists, community members, and influential figures, the event amplifies voices, promotes education, and mobilizes efforts to combat discrimination and promote legislative change.I believe that every therapist that works with the LGBTQIA+ must attend Trans* Pride Events.

Julia Schwab During Pride Month

Final Thoughts

Attending the Trans* Pride event in Los Angeles was an incredibly powerful and inspiring experience. From the Trans Town Hall’s dialogue to the opening of the thought-provoking art exhibit and the celebration and education at the Trans Pride Festival, the event encapsulated the resilience, unity, and visibility of the trans* community.

Trans* Pride is a vital celebration that challenges prejudice, fosters acceptance, and advocates for the rights and well-being of trans*individuals. It highlights the importance of community support, educates the public, and empowers individuals to live authentically. By embracing and supporting Trans* Pride, we contribute to the creation of a more inclusive and compassionate society where every individual can thrive.

Trans* Pride Los Angeles (transpride.lalgbtcenter.org) is an annual event that celebrates the diversity and strength of the TGI/ENBY+ community. It is always a joy and privilege to attend this exuberant and colorful event that promotes a world of equality, equity, love, and self-acceptance. Trans* Pride is made possible due to the efforts of Trans Lounge, an organization that provides community resources and engagement for the TGI/ENBY+ community.

This year, even more than before, due to the two-year hiatus caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, the event was a reason for celebration and togetherness. The atmosphere was one of positive energy and solidarity, and I instantly felt a connection with everyone there.

Trans Pride L.A. 2022 was an event that celebrated the past and praised the activists who helped the community take gargantuan steps toward equality. It was also an event meant to help the community look forward to a more inclusive future.

Trans Pride Los Angeles – The Background

Trans Pride Los Angeles is held every year in June. The event is a celebration of trans people and their allies, and it is an important time for the trans community to come together and show strength in numbers. Trans Pride Los Angeles is a safe space for trans people to be themselves and celebrate their identities.

The Background

The first Trans Pride Los Angeles took place in 2010. The event was created to celebrate trans visibility and pride, and to bring the trans community together. Trans Pride L.A. has grown every year since and is now one of the most significant trans pride events in the world. It attracts trans people and allies from all over Southern California and aims to promote trans visibility and advocate for trans rights.

Trans Pride L.A. festival is, above all, a celebration of trans culture. The festival features trans-themed art, music, performances, panels, and educational resources. It is the ideal space for trans people to express themselves and have fun while raising visibility for the issues faced by trans people.

No matter how you may feel, change is possible!

We'll work side by side to uncover the challenges and patterns that keep you from living the life you desire.

Julia-logo

Three Days of Events, Discussions, and Joy

This year, Trans Pride L.A. took place on June 16 – 18. Every year, the event is hosted by the Los Angeles LGBT Center which promotes trans rights, encourages discussions about the issues the community is facing on a day-to-day basis and reaches out to help trans people from all backgrounds.

art gallery

June 16 – The First Day of Trans Pride L.A.

Trans Pride L.A. was supposed to open with a job fair put together by the Center’s Transgender Economic Empowerment Project, but unfortunately, it was canceled. The next TEEP TGI/ENBY+ Job Fair will take place on Wednesday, September 14, 2022, 9:30 am – 2 pm.

Trans Pride L.A. opened with a panel hosted by Club Intersex, a community-run support group dedicated to intersex people. Club Intersex serves as a home for intersex people who want to explore what intersex identity means and discover the multi-faceted intersex community.

The discussion took place online under the name “From Invisible to Inclusion – An Intersectional Discussion on Intersex Experiences & Issues.”. A safe space for everyone interested in the topic, the panel aimed to allow members of the community to share their stories and journeys, as well as approach topics around issues that intersex adults face every day.

First Day of Trans Pride L.A

June 17 – The Second Day of Trans Pride L.A.

The second day continued the tradition of the Trans Pride L.A. as a host of the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s community forum series, Big Queer Convo. This year’s special guest was Latine/x non-binary/gender fluid actor and activist Vico Ortiz (they/them/elle), who was interviewed by actor Shaan Dasani (he/they). The discussion took place in person and was streamed online, allowing many participants to listen to discover contemporary topics through the lens of the past.

The second half of the day was dedicated to the opening of the SYZYGY gallery, home to an extravaganza of artworks from Cade Moga, D Hill, Emily Lucid, and Yozmit. The works of art were an explosion of color and meaningfulness and approached topics such as the inter-dimensional self, self-love, and the facets of being transgender. The evening ended with an in-person dance party hosted by Shane Ivan Nash (he/him).

Second Day of Trans Pride L.A

June 18 – The Third Day of Trans Pride L.A.

The third day started with a resource fair and festival meant to bring communities together and interconnect resources. The fair provided free food and drinks throughout the day, the atmosphere was exuberant and light, and the conversation flowed. I felt wrapped in the community spirit and enjoyed ample conversations about a cornucopia of topics on TGI/ENBY+ victories and needs.

Furthermore, I had the privilege to attend an impressive art exhibit and visit several rooms showing short films and hosting talkbacks. One of the highlights of the day was the event organized on the roof of the Center where participants made flower crowns with Classroom of Compassion in honor of trans icon Marsha P. Johnson. The event celebrated trans pride history and was a tribute to the community to engage in self-care.

The Village Courtyard became the scene of karaoke singing while @Moniquee.b read oracle cards, and Harmony (he/they) of TheyThem Friends taught self-defense lessons.

The day ended with a Happy Hour event presented by Tito’s Handmade Vodka and The VarieTy Show that allowed the stars of the Trans galaxy to parade their talents in person at the Renberg Theater. The show was hosted by Abdullah Hall and was streamed on the homepage of the Los Angeles LGBT Center.

Third Day of Trans Pride L.A

Looking forward to my next Trans Pride L.A. event!

All in all, it was a spectacular event that lifted our spirits and gave voice to a community represented by passionate advocates. I was so happy to see spirited, funny, proud trans people eager to connect and share their stories and determined to form a united front against prejudice and abuse.

It was an event made with love, out of love, founded on an ocean of positivism, hope, and ambition. Trans Pride L.A. 2022 was the perfect setting for witty and uplifting talks with members of the community and other therapists.

Events like this are the perfect background to move things forward for the trans community, brainstorm ideas, and come up with new strategies to promote its interests and familiarize the large public with trans rights, aspirations, and dreams.

From advocating for trans rights to providing resources and visibility, Trans Pride L.A. has been a vital force in the trans community. As we look towards the future, the event will continue to be a powerful voice for the community and a safe space for trans people to share experiences, learn more about each other, and grow, both as individuals and as members of the community.

We hope you’ll join our mission to promote self-care, self-acceptance, and self-love and stand with the trans community in their journey towards a world of inclusivity, equality, and, above all, love.

This past weekend, on September 18th, I had the privilege of attending the Long Beach Trans Pride Festival. I wanted to take a moment to share a little about the event and why it’s so important to me. As you know, I’m an LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapist in the Los Angeles area. I’ve been working in this field for over 16 years. I help the people of the community navigate the layers of gender, sexuality, culture, and race in a world that is still learning to accept and embrace the full spectrum of unique and beautiful expressions that exist.

Julia at Long Beach Trans Pride Festival

Over the same period, I’ve also been an advocate for the community. I’ve experienced, witnessed, and fought against the discrimination and oppression that a gender non-conforming community faces. For these reasons, when possible, I feel privileged and honored to be able to attend events like the Long Beach Trans Pride Festival. It’s both encouraging and a sign of progress to see many wonderful people and organizations dedicated to helping the lives of trans individuals and advocating for the transgender community.

No matter how you may feel, change is possible!

We'll work side by side to uncover the challenges and patterns that keep you from living the life you desire.

Julia-logo

What is the Long Beach Trans Pride Festival?

The Long Beach Trans Pride Festival began as an idea conceived by Alexa Castanon because she wanted to highlight trans people living, working, and thriving in Long Beach. She then took her vision to her friend Angel Macias. They began by creating Angels on Earth, an awards banquet to recognize transgender community members who were committing time and resources to help trans people but didn’t receive any compensation for their services.

Long Beach Trans Pride Booth at Festival

The stories of dedication, caring, and commitment inspired Angel to do more. Her goal was to utilize the platform to spread the message that members of the Trans Community deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, just like any other human being. That their lives are just as valuable and important as those of our cisgender brothers and sisters.
After witnessing the tragic killings of trans women of color, and attending vigils and rallies denouncing them, Angel decided to go even further. In collaboration with Alexa and other Trans members at California Families in Focus, they created the Long Beach Trans Pride Festival. The one-day event, calls upon the amazing, talented, and courageous members of the Long Beach Community to help educate, elevate and encourage Trans and gender non-conforming people.

In It Together

The festival was incredible, the atmosphere reverberated with positive energy. You could feel the openness, love, and support that every person was experiencing at the event. In addition to the attendees, there were also several organizations that invested time, money, and resources to make the event such a success. These organizations work hard to help people in various communities, and it is clear that their work and support are part of what makes big successes like the festival possible. Though I can’t list every organization, I do want to call out a few that supported the event but also do fantastic work for the community.

APLA Booth at Long Beach Trans Pride Festival

APLA Health

AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) Health is the largest founded in 1983. Almost 4 decades later they are one of the largest non-profit HIV service organizations in the United States. Their mission is to “achieve health care equity and promote well-being for the LGBT and other underserved communities and people living with and affected by HIV.” This is a fantastic organization that I personally have a lot of experience with, and it was great to see them at the festival standing by their commitment to helping the community.

The LGBTQ Center Long Beach Booth at the Trans Pride Festival

The LGBTQ Center Long Beach

The LGBTQ Center Long Beach has been around since 1980 and provides a variety of health, social, advocacy, legal, and service programs to the LGBTQ community in the Greater Long Beach area. This tremendous organization has been working hard to help the LGBTQ community for just over 40 years. I worked at the LA LGBTQ Center for a portion of my career and can attest to the amazing work that happens at these centers. They help many, many people and it was wonderful to see them showing support at the festival.

APIT booth at Trans Pride Long Beach Festival

APAIT

APAIT was established in 1987 as a grassroots AIDS service organization for Asian and Pacific Islanders suffering from AIDS. Over the past 30+ years, they’ve grown their vision to advocate, educate, and achieve optimal health and well-being for vulnerable communities. They are a large organization that works hard to provide helpful programs and resources for the communities they serve. Their presence at the Trans Pride festival is just another sign of their unparalleled commitment.

Translatina Coalition at Trans Pride Long Beach Festival

TransLatin@ Coalition

The TransLatin@ Coalition hasn’t been around as long as some of the others but they do excellent work. It was established in 2009 by a group of transgender and gender non-conforming and Intersex (TGI) immigrant women. Their focus is helping the TGI Latin@ immigrants living in the United States. It was great to see them at the Pride festival representing who they are and what they do.

TransLounge booth at Trans Pride Long Beach Festival

Trans* Lounge

Trans* Lounge is a bit different than the other organizations on this list. They are a program within the Cultural Arts & Education Department within the Los Angeles LGBT Center. I worked at the Los Angeles LGBT Center for a portion of my career and Trans* Lounge is an integral part of the organization. Trans* Lounge offers a variety of education and empowerment programs that offer free classes and events for the TGI/ENBY+ community. It is relatively new, having been created in mid-2015. They were a welcomed presence at the Pride festival.

A Fantastic Success

Overall, the Long Beach Trans Pride Festival was a fantastic success. It was amazing to see so many people show up to demonstrate their support. I spoke with numerous friends at the event, some of them are members of the community, therapists, or employees at some of these organizations. Everyone was thrilled with the turnout, the organization of the event and grateful to support such an important cause. Please note that this is not a complete list of the organizations that attended, this would be a very long post if I went through all of them. I just listed a few that stood out to me but there were many more people and organizations that helped make the event the resounding success that it was. I know I won’t miss the next one, I had an incredible time and even my puppy had fun.

Julia with puppy at Long Beach Trans Pride Festival

We were taught to be kind to others, turn the other cheek, and work hard. Helping others has always been seen as a noble and praiseworthy thing to do. The thought of putting oneself first was unbearable for many and an act of selfishness for others. We had chores to do, families to care for, and bills to pay. There was no room for silly things like mindfulness and self-compassion!

Fortunately, times are changing and, with them, the idea that we deserve less attention and care than the people we care for and love. Millennials have found the courage to talk about the power of self-care and there is no going back. We know the truth now! We know that self-love is the shortest path to follow if we want to live happy lives. We know that self-care is not selfishness, indulgence, or a trend. Self-care is a necessity!

lady exercising

As a matter of fact, studies have shown that self-care practices have a major impact on the successful management of diseases like diabetes mellitus. Patients with diabetes manage to have better glycemic control when they include self-care activities in their daily routine. From healthy eating and exercising to monitoring their blood sugar levels, everything contributes to the reduction of complications and a better life for patients with type 2 diabetes. However, you don’t have to be diagnosed with something to start exercising self-care.

If before the COVID-19 pandemic, we associated self-care with yoga classes, gym sessions, going out with friends, and spa treatments, given our current situation, we should think about self-care at a smaller scale but not lose sight of the big picture. There are plenty of self-care activities we can do in the comfort of our home that will invite self-love, peace of mind, relaxation, and motivation in our hearts and minds. We just need to make self-care a priority and treat every day as a mental health day!

No matter how you may feel, change is possible!

We'll work side by side to uncover the challenges and patterns that keep you from living the life you desire.

Julia-logo

Exercise daily

You can exercise as much or as little as you want and can, but do it regularly. Whether you take a short walk around the block, do yoga in the courtyard with your dog, or jog for 15 minutes, you will feel the difference. Any exercise is better than no exercise at all. There’s no need for me to tell you about the importance of staying active. It’s common knowledge. However, I will remind you that exercise has the power to improve your mood, well-being, and mental health. It boosts your energy levels and invites positivity into your life. Moreover, exercise helps you achieve better sleep. In other words, exercise is one of the most powerful tools we have against anxiety, depression, or simply a bad day. And of course, it helps you maintain a healthy weight and improve your body image, both important aspects for a healthy relationship with yourself.

 

woman taking a bath

Take a long and mindful bath

Forget about showers on the run once in a while. We know, the world needs you but it will not crumble if you decide to immerse yourself in a world of fragrances and calming music. Your bath can easily become an aromatherapy session if you add jasmine, lavender, or ylang-ylang to your bathing ritual. A 2009-study discovered that fragrances can affect our mood, physiology, and behavior, so include essential oils in your life for indulgent self-care experiences. Try to relax during your bath and focus on the present. Mindfulness is about focusing on the moment and experiencing everything it has to give. Keep any worry away from your bathtub. Focus your attention on yourself and all the positive feelings you exude on your self-care journey.

 

chamomille tea

Make time for tea

Tea time is not reserved only for royalty. It can be the best excuse to take some time off from your daily duties and enjoy a few moments spent all by yourself. Tea time is not necessarily about drinking your tea, although it has been proven that green tea may lower your LDL levels and black tea can lower the risk of heart disease. Tea time is about the ritual of mental self-care. You can savor your tea near a window or in the courtyard while reading a book or eating a piece of cake. The idea is to create a corner of serenity and inner peace. Silence the outside world and think about yourself for a moment or two while spending time away from your phone, to-do list, and everyday life.

 

friends talking

Talk to your friends

Humans are and always will be social animals. We need to interact with each other to protect our mental health. Whether we do it for support or simply to say hi, it’s important to make time for friends. We don’t necessarily need to meet face to face for our interaction to have a positive impact on our mood and state of mind. Hearing the voice of someone we care for floods our body with positivity and oxytocin, a chemical in your brain that boosts the feel-good sensation. Some time alone is a great way to reconnect with yourself but so are conversations with good friends. We often listen to ourselves better when voicing out our thoughts, hopes, and worries. Healthy and smart conversations may reward you with a clearer picture of your life.

What is Mindful Self-Compassion?

Why do so many people stumble or struggle with being kind to themselves? Why is it often easier to be kind to others and not to ourselves? A common fear around self-compassion is that it’s merely a form of self-pity.

Self-pity comes from a perspective of “poor me”, feeling sorry for yourself. Compassion involves recognizing the difficulty of the situation and research shows that those who practice it, focus on their situation or circumstances less overall. For this reason, they usually have better overall mental health than those that do not practice self-compassion.

Mindful self-compassion is the combination of two critical practices that should be applied in daily life — Mindfulness and self-compassion.

What is mindfulness?

Let’s start with the term mindfulness. You’ve probably heard about mindfulness, maybe even seen some books, or heard a podcast on the subject. Mindfulness requires that you bring your attention to the present moment. Being fully conscious and aware of all that is happening right now. This means letting go of those issues you have to deal with at work tomorrow, the bills at the end of the month, the dinner you have to cook for your family, etc. Release everything that is not of the present moment.

Girl with her eyes closed and smiling

Through mindfulness, you replace all those thoughts keeping your mind busy, with all the feelings and sensations you are experiencing right now. Feel each breath as it enters and leaves your body, listen carefully to the sounds around you, focus on all the signals your body is sending you from head to toe. Thoughts from the past or the future may enter, but don’t hang onto them. Let them go with your breath and return to silence, simply experiencing all the sensations within and around you.

Don’t be discouraged, it takes practice to hone the skills of mindfulness. Initially, you may get only a few seconds before thoughts about the past or the future rush back in. Treat yourself with kindness, don’t engage with them, don’t deny them, let them be, and patiently let them go. Welcome to the conscious present moment.

No matter how you may feel, change is possible!

We'll work side by side to uncover the challenges and patterns that keep you from living the life you desire.

Julia-logo

What is self-compassion?

The second piece to mindful self-compassion begins with understanding what is compassion. Imagine that your best friend, or your child, came to you because they had a rough day. Maybe teachers or friends had some harsh criticism for them and they are experiencing some difficult or challenging emotions related to this.

In this situation, most people would show their best friend or their child some degree of compassion. This would entail acknowledging their painful emotions and responding with warmth, caring, and kindness. We’ve all been on the other side of this situation as well, it might have been a parent, a friend, or a skilled teacher, but we’ve all been shown compassion at some point in our lives.

I can already hear the chorus of “this is obvious” and that’s good. But let me ask you, when was the last time you extended that same warmth, caring, and kindness to yourself?

That is precisely what self-compassion is. When faced with our own personal shortcomings and struggles, most people are quick to judge, condemn, and punish themselves. Even now, some of you are defending that behavior. I can hear you, “my struggles occur because I made a mistake”, “I have high standards”, “there’s no excuse for not achieving my goals”, etc.
The people that treat us that way in our personal lives, we usually don’t keep around for very long. So we should make it our goal to practice self-compassion and focus on achieving that goal so that we can be kinder to ourselves.

The 3 Elements of Self-Compassion

Self-Kindness vs Self-Judgement

Compassion emphasizes being kind to yourself. The world is a difficult place, and it’s not always possible to be or achieve what you want. It’s great to pursue ambitious goals. The key is when we fall short, to recognize the difficulties and our imperfection, to realize that a shortcoming does not make us inadequate or incomplete. Judging ourselves for the failure creates suffering that is expressed as stress, frustration, and self-criticism.

Common Humanity vs Isolation

In the face of our defeats, many have a tendency to feel like they are the only ones who have failed. That they alone are damaged in some way and that’s the reason for the failure. The truth is the opposite. All humans are imperfect, fragile, and have many shortcomings. It’s not something to be ashamed of or a reason to judge yourself. Those experiences, those areas for improvement, those failures are shared by all of humanity, not just you.

Mindfulness vs Over-Identification

The last piece is the mindfulness element. This requires that we recognize our fears and emotions when faced with our struggles and hold our attention on keeping them in perspective. Approach the situation and your feelings with openness and clarity. Be fully present in your emotions without suppressing them or amplifying them. This takes focus and practice, but it’s something that once you learn will be beneficial in your daily life.

Self-Compassion Training Exercises

Compassion is like a muscle, the more you practice it the more it develops. So to help you get started on your compassion journey, below are 3 exercises you can do to start leveling up your self-compassion skills.

How would you treat a friend?

As mentioned earlier, we’re usually much better at showing compassion to others than we are to ourselves. So reframe your situation and imagine how you would treat a friend experiencing what you are going through. What would you tell them? How is it different than what you have been telling yourself? Should it be different?

Changing your critical self-talk

The way we talk to ourselves has a profound effect on all areas of our life. Identifying negative self-talk and replacing it with more positive communication is the foundation for improving the way you relate to yourself. This one takes a lot of practice, stick with it.

Keep a self-compassion journal

For some, writing down your feelings can help you process them. Doing it from the perspective of compassion can enhance your mental well-being. Sometimes reviewing our thoughts later when we have a cooler head can reveal issues in the way we reason or communicate with ourselves.

Woman looking at herself in the mirror

Want to Learn More?

Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) was developed by Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff. They have written books on the subject and have a mindful self-compassion program and workshops. As authors and teachers, they have developed and taught a variety of self-compassion practices. They have videos, courses, workbooks, compassion training programs, and are a tremendous resource for all things related to compassion.